Those who know me will note I am both extremely reasonable and well grounded 
Earlier this year I made some requests, a wish list of sorts. Sadly I am still waiting, and being in the middle of September I must be willing to accept some things may not come to pass this year.
Lancer Battle Rifle
Come on FN, S&W, Colt! This should be easy for you guys to make at this point!
This should be a no brainer for the weapon R&D companies. It combines two of man’s greatest inventions – the assault rifle and a chain saw. Certainly every man has found himself in a situation that would been better resolved had he had more fire power and more cutting capabilities in one hand.
I emailed FN and you know what? They responded they are not even considering this right now? What a bunch of tits! It’s not like I emailed them and asked for a fucking laser gun (which was my earlier request that definitely will not be fulfilled this year). It’s easy, just look at that picture there, high quality plastics, a few neon lights, and a chain saw.
So I guess the world will have another dull year or no chain saw/assault rifles. It’s bad enough we can’t get a decent movie in the theaters this year.
Clearly will not be happening this year.
Tool coming to Minneapolis:
I did get to see Perfect Circle. I had a migraine that evening so severe a baseball bat to the face would have been an improvement, but that’s not their fault. Being that APC is still on the road I do not think Tool will make it here, which kind of sucks in a major way. Still doesn’t suck as much as Thor did though.
Add on to the above, any awesome band coming to Minneapolis:
I am on all the concert venue email lists, and it’s really just fucking SAD how poor these promoters are lining up shows. The only concert worth seeing in the next 4 months is Lil’ Wayne. JZ canceled coming to MN. Metallica is currently doing the epic Big 4 tour which is not coming here. Slipknot is a no go. Guns n Roses is here in November, but holy shit Chinese Democracy was a steaming turd. I now understand that moment when you first think are getting old- you wake up one day and realize you have no idea who any of the bands are who are on tour. I’m 28. This does not bode well for me.
Fighting the Shark, attitude adjustment
Watch it on Netflixs, its good
Have you seen “The Reef”?
Yup, that movie really made me rethink this idea of battling the great white shark.
So like all bad ending with Sharks, it is based in Australia. If you didn’t know, everything down there will eat you, and most of the animals enjoy high positions on “most poisonous” lists.
A boat capsizes, the people try to swim to a reef, which is 10 miles away. Then the bad shit starts.
The plan to battle the shark is centered on having a boat is that right side up the whole time, and on having a god damn lancer battle rifle. This one is a wash for now.
My dream kitchen plan:
This could work. It’s six of my favorite places to eat set up in a hexagon kiosk. I’ll have two chiefs assigned to it, and they will need 6 different hats. We will need a Chipotle, a Punch Pizza, a Smash Burger, a Teppenyaki grill, a Sushi bar, and Steak grill. Each place will only have one item on the menu. I think that’s a solid plan. Probably won’t be happening this year.
Cloning a dinosaur: 
Come on scientists! Jurassic Park laid out the whole plan. Step 1, find Amber with bugs in it. Step 2 extract dino blood from bugs. Step 3 clone dinosaurs by mixing the blood samples with frog DNA. Step 4 get Samuel L Jackson to work in a park. Step 5 dinosaurs flip out and run the island. Step 6 Adam gets a T Rex head couch.
I had some hopes things were improving with the worlds largest crocodile found in the PI this month, but no follow on news of cloning a T Rex came from that.
My Phone Still Sucks:
I am sick of people telling me it’s time to upgrade it too. This damn thing was supposed to be cutting edge just a year and a half ago. Are you seriously telling me a fucking cell phone is out classed in under 24 months? I don’t store games on it, I have less than 20 apps on it total. It is slow and my coverage in Minneapolis is not so awesome.
Fitness Industry, getting worse by the quarter
Dear Personal Trainers, stop making Captain Picard upset!
I am very certain at least 50% of the personal trainers and “experts” in the fitness industry do more harm than good. Houston do we have a problem? Here is an opinion which is dangerously close to a fact – many personal trainers flipped a coin between bartender and personal trainer. It was either feeding people drinks or running them through machine circuits at the local globo gym.
Can we get the Titanic to stop taking water? I doubt it. That is why I launched the Smarter Strength E Class. More are on the way. If I can’t get the trainers to stop being so damn dumb, I will just have to get the clients to stop paying them.
2012, will it better?
I want either one of two things. Either some these items need to get crossed off the list, or I want global destruction and meltdown. A world without T Rex’ to hunt or Lancer rifles is no place for any of us to be.
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Dude your Droid was outclassed before you got it. In cell phone years it is about 21 years old.
meh
on a tech forum they are saying an Iphone 3 is “completely useless” which is fucking retarded to me.
All I wanted was a phone that does a good job of being a phone, not an ok phone that is also an ok camera, and ok twitter platform. I don’t need 10,000 apps that never work either. Verizon is so on my shitlist from now too
I’ve noticed that many people have trouble with their “fancy” phones that are designed to do everything. Personally, I have a Samsung Alias 2 from Verizon and I have no problems with it. I can call people, I can text people, I can twit or even Facebook, and the only time I have trouble with phone conversations is when I call people with “fancy” phones, primarily blackberries.
Perhaps its time to downgrade your phone.
If you want a phone that is good at being a phone, as for the old-folks’s model. I’m not joking. It’ll still have a camera, and probably let you connect to the internet if you want, and text, but otherwise, it will look and act just like a phone, without all the other stuff you don’t use. I know several people who have done just that, since they only need a phone, not apps, internet, etc. Doesn’t matter the service provider (I have a crap nokia from verison- 4 yrs old and works as, gasp, a phone, and I”m happy with it).
Adam, you should email Tool’s PR people, tell them they need to get their ass to MN and you will fight a T-rex whilst they play (if they can find you one) and once it’s dead and skinned you will sit on the T-rex skull sofa and bend spanners and other manly tools whilst the band gives you a private audience.
If nothing else it might give them a chuckle and consider coming to play, it might be worthwhile attaching a youtube video of you demolishing a spanner or horseshoe so they don’t think you are totally full of shit.
I also don’t understand why chainsaw guns haven’t been made, they had bayonets on guns over 300 years ago, surely we can do better than that in terms of combining hand to hand combat with long range combat??
Adam, have you asked Heckler & Koch to make the rifle ? After all, FN is in Belgium and when was the last time they kicked anyone’s ass.