This is one of those posts that I write for me than anyone else, so I can’t count on it doing much for you. If it does, I will wish it does something beneficial for you.
I have made a tremendous amount of change to my mind, thought process, emotional breadth and depth over the last few years. It has been a purposeful challenging of old thoughts and beliefs. A systematic process with ups and down. This evening Frankie asked me to comment on how much of a change has occurred. Makes for a good topic to write on, so here I go.
Words.
In my opinion language is an open window to the psychology of an individual. The choice of language is often a deliberate, yet unconscious process. I realize this is a bit of a contradiction, so I will explain a bit farther.
Take a person out of a context where they are purposefully minding their tongue and their choice of words is often a fairly direct indicator of how they think and feel. The exception (once again in my opinion) is people working more and more consciously on what they are saying. This typically comes out as limp dick political correctness. Rule of thumb- the more syllables you add to an idea the more you water it down.
My words 2008 compared to how I use them now
Should: All the time with should. I did not have a conversation with anyone without dropping the S bomb.
“Should” is most commonly used to make recommendations or give advice. It can also be used to express obligation as well as expectation.
- Englishpage.com definition of the word Should.
Expectation is a word which stands out the most. I had expectations of everything. Since my expectations did not match my reality, I was often thinking it was all fucked up. The more accurate statement is:
I was all fucked up because I was not accurately perceiving my environment.
Every time I said “this should be,” I was calling it wrong.
I did not own that idea yet, so instead I would find failure everywhere I looked.
Is anyone really in position to tell you what you should be doing? At the time I was very certain of this, nowadays I am not. That part comes later.
I stay the hell away from shoulds as much as I can. The more distance between should and I, the more effective I have become.
Can’t: I used to have a major problem with the word can’t. I was very fond of the macho bullshit which is often throw at can’t and very much enjoyed tagging everyone else’s “can’ts” with a follow-on “or you won’t?”
So here is a problem with that: If you could be doing something you would be doing it. When you say you can’t do it there is a specific reason. You believe that.
If the simplest answer is often the correct one then, this is a pretty functional idea.
Most people who use can’t are accurately describing their perception of an issue. It does not matter if you agree or not, because your view is not their view.
The fewer can’ts I have disputed, the better off I have been. It’s easier to navigate people if you can simply accept their can’t and move forward.
Should and can’t are highly associated. Often when you are telling someone what they should be doing they will respond with “I can’t do that”
There are three outcomes here.
- One of you is calling it right.
- Both of you are calling it right.
- Both of you are calling it wrong.
A question which has helped me resolve this: do I make the person worse to argue their can’t away? Most often yes. Experience taught me a lesson with this.
What matters is it was personally destructive to have a problem with can’t and an attachment to should.
Now I am very much willing to work with and around can’ts. Tell me you can’t and I will find some other way. It is truly easier to take new action compared to changing your mind.
And I like easy.
Absolutes: Always, Nevers: Two words which will leave you wrong are “Always” and “Never” and it seems I have to kick myself in the ass when I forget this.
As far as I can tell, nearly all things in this universe are relative. Things are relative by a magnitude of factors. These factors are far too many to list here, but I will drop two right now.
- Time
- Intensity
These two factors alone often change stances, and then an Always becomes something other than every time, and a never occurs even though we said it wouldn’t.
Without fail you will break your word if you use these words.
Throw out an always and there is an example to not do “it.”
Try out a never, and we can locate a situation in which “it” will happen.
I do not know of any absolute right now, other than the fact I will one day die. I will, you will, and so will every person who reads this. That is only thing which is truly certain. Everything else is a toss up.
Evil and Good: Of course I use the word good every fucking day, in this sense I am talking more of the fictional use of the word. You know light and dark, in a fairy tale sort of way. 
For the better part of a year I had to interact with a man who at the time I was certain was a living embodiment of evil. Not in a cool way like how some of you douche bags tell your friends you are evil. This man has murdered women and childern, tortured and killed many men, and directly planed and executed operations which can be accurately labeled “War Crimes” under the Geneva Convention treatise of 1949.
I had more conversations with that man in one year than I had with any other man in 10 years. In many ways by the end I understood his psychology prehaps better than my own.
That is when the change started.
There is no such thing as an act which is beyond human. If a human can do it, then it is a human thing to do. Is it really evil then? If evil is human, then is ‘good and evil’ the right question to ask? The depth of this insight may not weigh on you as heavily as it did on me at the time.
If one believes in evil, what is their resolution for exposure to evil acts? What is the plan of action?
On the other hand, if someone will accept a new premise, they may be able to take new actions. This has been a big change to my understanding of the world.
I find no supernatural forces working behind the acts of man, there are simply men doing the best they can do to get the things they want. Some men will go farther than others. Some men see a line.
Some men will take steps in directions others would not dare go, this means many things but evil is not one of them.
There is no crime which I do not see a human element in. No matter how outrageous, it is not new. We can trace every one of them back through out human history. Murder, rape, theft, every facet of violence, every violation: they have been with us since we were. In fact if you study the various great crimes you will many of these exact same behaviors.
“We are just the monkeys that stayed standing up.”
-fF
Crossed the line: something which you will not hear me say these days which I used to express often as a statement of disagreement with another’s actions.
What is this line? Where can it be found? If there is a line, why is it others do not perceive it to be in the spot where I do?
The reason is simple, there is no line.
There is no human act which can’t be done by a human being. You can see how this is coupled with ideas of good and evil, and character which I will address below.
Those who understand this have a map to anything they truly want to have, and those who disagree will continue to call it wrong.
You tell me there is something you won’t do, and I can think of a way to take you to that point and past it.
The only lines which exist are the ones we put on ourselves. Do not expect anyone else to honor your idea of how the world looks. I have learned that it set me up for some serious disappointment.
Character: I often would speak on the character of others. Naturally I attached a positive or negative value to this when I would speak about it.
So if we get simple with the idea of character, we can say it is something we use to describe people’s behavior. It’s used to describe the actions we want them to take, or actions we don’t want them to take. You say you will cut my grass while I am on vacation, and you do it. I say something along the lines of “he is a man with character, he does what he says he will.” Naturally, if you don’t I would have said you have a character flaw because you lied or failed to do what you said you would do.
So can I really make a judgement call on what kind of man you are if you do or don’t cut my grass after you said you would?
Not really. Wrong question.
Can you modify someones behavior?
Is there any behavior you cannot modify?
If you can, are you discussing character then?
Truth: this was something I valued. I believed the truth was the important part of an idea. Give someone the truth and things will work. Own the truth and everything will be ok.
Listen to Philosraptor, he is here to help
Is this how the world works?
If there is a truth, than someone has it.
Who owns the truth?
Wars have been fought over and over again through out human history over the truth. It seems the truth is relative, along with everything else.
I would label the truth these days as an opinion. That is as close as I can accurately describe it based on my current understanding of life.
Opinion: Something which I did not value as much in my earlier years. I was more of a fan of “facts” and “truths” and the way I define them now are simply opinions.
I have come to value someones opinion much more these days.
When you cast away someones opinion, you are making it very challenging to relate to them. Our opinions are telegraphing our thought process, our emotions, our belief systems, and our lines.
When someone is willing to offer me this much insider information on them, I now pay attention.
Here are some popular opinion buzz words
- Fact
- Lie
- Truth
- False
- Good
- Bad
- Never
- Always
When you are experiencing these ideas you are seeing inside of the black box for a moment. Do what you will with this information, but consider you may be passing over a unique view of an individual.
Why: Mother fuck I used this word a lot.
Why is perhaps the least useful question out of the primary questions people ask.
Why is the by product of seeking a cause-effect relationship to events. The problem is you never really can find out if anything causes anything else to happen.
Some of you are unable to process this. Here are some questions
Do all people react exactly the same to the same situation? If you answer no, what does that mean for cause and effect?
Does the exact same thing happen every time you do something? If you answer no, what does that mean for cause and effect?
If you can grasp this, then it quickly becomes obvious that Why is a low priority question.
So low that I do my best to avoid it as often as possible.
Is anyone sure why they did what they did? If you begin to question them, you will peel the onion and soon you have a new reason, and a new reason, and yet a new reason. At some point it will become clear: No one knows exactly why they do things. We justify why later. It is an afterthought.
This has been an incredibly useful step in my psychology.
Cause and effect thinking vs. Association thinking: As I often share, my friend Frankie Faires has taught me a lot. If I had to single out the most important lesson, it was how to truly harness the power of the mind and science.
The very first lesson of The Movements Biomechanics educational system is on the topic of how to think and learn.
There was a huge shift in how my brain operated in 2009. I stopped asking “Why” and I started asking “what” more and more.
Why did that happen? You will be wrong.
What happened first, what happened next, what happened after that? – Now that is useful information.
As I have typed this, I come across more and more components. I am quickly realizing this list can just go and go. Since these were the first ones to come to mind, I will stop here and say for now these were the most important changes. Maybe in the future I will talk about this more.
My website is titled many things by many people. One of the titles which I like is a journal. I don’t know what utility it serves you, but it holds value to me. I used this page back when there were 0 visitors per week. Now that it seems tens of thousands a week, I feel no need to change a thing.
One of my belief systems is we are built to get better. Writing this has made me better. A visible material thing, which I can reflect on the weight of my own evolution. I have no interest in being a great man, not even a good man. I simply want to be a better man.
ATG
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Adam, very thought provoking. The mix of training advice / inspiration and pieces like this, is what makes your site so interesting. I need to re-read this a few times.
Good food for thought. Thanks for sharing, Adam.
Adam,
Your position evil seems to be captured with the following argument:
(1) If a type of action is evil, then it must be utterly beyond the capacity of human beings to perform such an action.
(2) There are no actions that are utterly beyond human capacity to perform.
Therefore,
(3) No type of action is evil.
(1) and (2) certainly imply (3), and you are correct to point out that even a glance at history shows that (2) is true (and now doubt your encounter with the person you mention in your remarks confirms as much). The question is whether (1) is true, and I have to say I don’t see any good reason to believe that statement. Why would evil acts be necessarily beyond the pale for any human being to perform? Indeed, if somebody accepted such a definition, the disction between good and evil actions would be trivial, because no human being would ever be capable of the latter. So it seems to me that nobody who believes that there is a significant distinction between good and evil would ever accept such a definition, and you subsequently seem to be arguing against a strawman — you are refuting a position nobody really holds. Maybe I’m misconstruing your position (or even the intent of your remarks). If so, I apologize.
Suppose I defined evil (as is common in traditional thinking about this) as follows: evil types of actions are those that are contrary to the sort of civil order (a common life) necessary for human beings to flourish. Human beings are, for the most part, socially dependent animals, and there are certain activities that are contrary to any sort of coherent social order, and these are what we call evil actions. It would be easy to come up with a list of such types of actions, e.g., societies in which the murder of innocent human beings, rape, unlimited theft, etc. are simply not societies in which human beings can flourish. I think that this too is shown by history.
You are correct that thinking of morality or good-evil as “light and dark, in a fairy tale sort of way” is silly; good and evil are not some sort of mystical or supernatural powers (like The Force), but people who really defend this distinction in a reflective way don’t draw it along those lines. Rather good acts are simply those that are ordered toward the sorts of goods that make a human life go well, and evil acts are those that are inherently contrary to those goods. Since we all have a common human nature, i.e., we are all literally the same kind of biological organism, we should expect a very broad list of goods and evils that apply to all of us; just like the way that a common human nature insures some very broad standards for nutrition, human nature implies broad categories of good and evil. Of course, (to follow that analogy), just as the details of nutrition vary depending on situations, individual differences, etc. the details of moral distinctions will likewise vary. That is, the distinctin between good and evil does not imply an unthinking, moral absolutism.
I hope you are well and thanks for posting thought provoking remarks,
Jim Madden
damn. need to read this posting in stages. Too much to absorb in one sitting. Good stuff.
If you would like more about mental training without BS, Rock Warrior Way is a good read. Cheesy name but very good insights into how thinking alters performance, in this case rock climbing. But it transfers very well to any pursuit involving risk choices. Also great study on how self talk affects the mind.
“a life without self examination is not one worth living” I forget the originator. Maybe greek.
Socrates
…the life unexamined…
VERY greek.
Anyone here read Dostoevsky’s “The brothers karamazov”?. The answers to all Jim’s questions are very well answered in the book.
The very nature of the evil in all of us, and why our own ego will determine how we act. No one can be as cruel as man. We beat helpless animals, we cut off other people’s limbs and kill kids in the name of our own ideology.
We as humans can not live with doubt, and we will give up our God given free will to anyone who can offer us certainty in anything, but “the soul is not mechanical”- and some seek a higher and more permanent afterlife and recompense for a life lived in harmony with neighbor. Sensualists will reason themselves to violence against others in the name of their certainty and feel it’s their right as the people’s Marshall. The Inquisitor.
Just my opinion.
Adam,
I am pain free and move so much better in the mornings since I started testing my workouts!. Thanks.
Enrique
Enrique,
How is Dostoevsky’s vision in The Brothers K. contrary to the way I have distinguished good from evil? That is all I attempt to do in the remarks I give above. I didn’t claim (and this would be contrary to Dostoevsky’s view) that any human being is free from evil; I only argue that there is a plausible way to distinguish good from evil, i.e., good is that which fulfill’s human nature, and evil is that which thrawts it. No doubt ALL of us do our share of thrawting human fulfillment!
I agree wholheartedly with your reading of Ivan’s “Poem” about the Grand Inquisitor, but don’t forgot how the novel ends and where Ivan ends up! I don’t think the Brothers K. is intended to leave us in doubt or without hope. I think Dostoevsky wants us to realize that our hope and our certainty are found elsewhere from where many of us look for it. (Rember Ivan’s worldview at the start of the novel.)
I’ll shut up now, and I won’t take up anymore space on Adam’s page,
Jim
Jim
all who are welcome here, and no one has made any demands upon you to shut up or leave.
Consider as you guys discuss this that most valuable information to discuss is experiment design and information relating to new action. As you talk to each other I want you to see an approach which allows you present tests or experiments. If you can do this you can learn to influence anyone.
So a questions, is there any way for you gentlemen to test out this belief?
Hi Jim,
I am not disagreeing with you. Simply mentioned a source that wrote about it and the chapter in the book that I felt described people’s attitude towards the justification of evil; the Grand Inquisitor. It’s just my opinion that’s all. I enjoyed your post and it inspiured me to add my two cents. Cheers.
Enrique
Enrique
I am very happy to read this. The more you test, the more you will learn, and the better choices you will make.
On the topic of Evil, I really think it is the wrong question. Most people would label Hitler evil, I imagine he was a great guy to his wife and close friends. The popular opinion in the middle east is all Americans are evil swine. Where others see evil, I merely see an opinion.
I’ve read it twice this year. You could do much worse than using that book as a manual to live by.
Before I jump in on the good and evil discussion I want to touch up on the other words mentioned.
Should – That has been a motherfucker for me. I can’t count how many should’s I’ve thrown onto myself and in turn expectations that were unrealistic due to not taking an honest look at my environment and them pissing me off. Shoulds making me get in my own way of progress. Now I try to eliminate the world as much as possible with my goals/actions. I’ve found trying to replace it with something like “am” or “going” is only dressing up the “should”. I simply try to do without so much damned thinking. I know full well what I want to accomplish and the tools that will help me get there. Jettisoning the mental clutter like should has had me see rapid progress.
Never – This is one, along with the other absolutes that philosophy has taught me much about. There are no absolutes and people that insist are only kidding themselves. We have strong induction at best and while it isn’t 100% it’s the best thing we have. Cheers to David Hume for putting absolutist thinking in the scrap heap. We can have a good idea of what’s going to happen but unless you are Miss Cleo you aren’t going to predict the future.
Opinions – New to me and I think that accepting these along with people’s cant’s is going to do me a lot of good as a coach. It opens up new paths and options where arguing with them would have just shut all progress down. Adaptation is key, that’s how we get better. All rivers lead to the ocean etc, etc…
Good and Evil – Again, it’s discussions like this that are why I am proud to be a philosopher ( and aspiring philosoraptor! ). Jim’s notion of social contracts dictating the goods and evils of a society are spot on. Yet we still run into the problem of relativism. Other parts of the world feel it is entirely appropriate to justify heinous acts with their respective faiths. We’d never agree (in the states) to killing a woman for adultery. We may not look highly upon those who do it but most people would agree with death being a punishment not fitting the transgression.
But you don’t have to go very far to find places where it is going on today and done in a public forum no less. Are they purely evil or are they evil by comparison to our beliefs? What is religion but a matter of ontological opinion? One people hold onto so strongly they are willing to fight timeless wars over.
If we had concrete definitions of good and evil there would be no need our discussion but that is what is so awesome about not knowing. The onus is on us to figure these things out for ourselves. We’ve come to a point where we can agree on a lot of things that we ought and ought not do to support a flourishing society but in the end we can never escape the solipsistic box, we can have absolutes regarding these matters.
My solution. Get better and keep getting better. Death is our only certainty and I want to spend the limited amount of time I have kicking as much ass as possible without causing undue harm to others. Rawl’s idea of an ideal society being one that you would want to live in regardless of not knowing where your station in life would be in is a fantastic one. Will we ever get there? Who knows, but I feel that we won’t ever get there without the notion of getting better.
Non-Sequitur – I recently placed 3rd in the brown/black belt division in a Judo tournament (as a white belt no less) and then one week later I took second in a huge BJJ tournament in the Blue Belt divison. Over 10 matches fought during those two Saturdays and I owe my success to the knowledge I have gained right here. Thanks everyone!
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