Man Skills: How TO Make Everything Better In Your Life Part 1

The key to life is getting better. The key to happiness is being awesome. The keys to awesome are in getting better.

So how do you make everything in your life more awesome? Make everything better.

Making it better; How to not get your ass killed

Dalton: Innovator to the man skills lab for not getting your ass kicked. Tai Chi is not required for this skill, Dalton only used it to confound local farmers by the lake.

There is a quote from Target Focus Training Group that I love.

“Violence is rarely the answer.  But when it is, it is the ONLY answer.”  - Tim Larkin

A billion interventions of television, video games, and comic books have seriously disrupted most people understanding and perception of violence in the world.

Some common misconceptions

#1 Violence is something that happens to other dude bros. You know, like the ones in Washington DC, Detroit, or New York. It won’t happen to me here in XXXX

Wrong. Things can get ugly when ever two or more human beings are in the same location.

#2 If I am attacked, I only need to give the attacker what he wants to take and he will leave me alone.

Wrong. You never know what someone wants. A simple wallet theft can turn to murder in the blink of an eye. There is no way to know with certainty how far an attacker will go once the attack begins. Do not assume compliance will bring you safety.

#3 I need a black belt to defend myself.

Wrong. Very wrong in fact. What does world leader in combative research and instruction Tony Blauer have to say about this belief system?

“There have been more untrained people who have successfully fought off an attacker than they are black belts who have been attacked” – Tony Blauer ‘cerebral self defense’

What is Tony saying? Does he mean getting a black belt makes you safer? No.

We will talk about this idea more in a minute.

#4 I am big and tough looking so no one will fuck with me.

Wrong. There are a lot of reasons people may fuck with you, and one of them may be precisely because you are in fact big and mean looking. Or maybe the attacker is drunk, in which case he believes he is 10′ tall and bullet proof. Or maybe he is desperate like a junkie or addict. The point is assuming you are never going to be attacked because of the way you look is an error.

#5 I don’t want to hurt anyone, there is no way I would pick a fight with anyone.

I get that, you are not a thug. The problem with trouble is it finds people, even those who are not looking for it. I don’t want anyone walking around in fear, but at the same time you have to accept this base premise.

At any time, in any place, with any person, violence can occur. When it does, you may only have a single choice: To become a victim or to fight back.

This is where the awesome comes in

You can choose. That is the first step.

I can’t in good conscious say that you must fight back, because there are situations where fighting back is the wrong move. But I do believe you can make a choice either way. If nothing else, having the choice makes the awesome stronger.

How to kick ass- it’s all about injury.

Most people have never been in a fight. Not even a slap match. So I understand perceptions of what a fight looks like are very distorted particularly among people age 35 and under. As I said above- video games, epic 1980′s movies, and comic books have lead people to believe in wild and crazy shit related to fighting, violence, injury, and the stakes of this game.

Very few fights involve trading blows, anything you have ever seen in a dojo, or any of the most awesome choreographed action such as when Neo beats the shit out Agent Smith.

One person hurts the other person. Then they hurt them again, and again, and again. They do this until they can take what they want from the other person. Most fights do not last more then a few seconds.

It’s really not that hard to hurt someone. In fact, once you understand human anatomy it becomes very clear.

Many criminals understand violence, the majority of black belt instructors at the strip mall do not.

Modern gyms almost all offer self defense classes, and what do these classes teach you to do?

Punch, kick, block punches, get out of choke holds…this shit will not cut it.

So here is your first man skill of the day- how to kick ass and defend your life.

Injure the other man. Do it quickly, and then continue to do it over and over until you are able to run the fuck out of there. Gouge their fucking eye ball out, tear their testicles from their body, crack their skull open so you can see the pretty gray stuff.

The will to survive is powerful. Maybe one of the most powerful expressions of human life. We are capable of incredible feats and deeds when we are committed to getting our ass out of bad shit. Stories can be found from all over the world, all the time. Little tiny Moms killing much larger men to protect their kids. Lone man beats down three attackers, a man who has never been in a dojo one time. Do not doubt the resolve of someone fighting for their life.

I’m not fucking around. If you go out tonight and three dudes want to box your head in you better not try out that awesome triangle choke you learned in jujitsu practice. You better be ready to hurt them badly, right out the gate. Not wait and get the shit kicked out of you while you decide if things have gotten “bad enough” for you to spring to action.

On that note stay the fuck off the ground. Nothing good will come from you going down to the ground.

Want more info? Check this out.

#2 Making it better; Self Help 101 & 301

We feel better when we take better actions. Better actions facilitate better thoughts. Better thoughts perpetuate better actions. The upward expanding spiral beings.

Now what is wrong with that?

A lot of people will say the order.

Bullshit, that up there is accurate.

What is easier to change; the way you think? Or the way you act?

More precisely….

Which is easier to do; disrupt and replace a believe system, or take a new action?

It is infinitely easier to change actions.

People spend years trying to change their minds on issues, and it can happen in a split second when the right action occurs.

Let’s tie this one back to the top one.

Here in Minneapolis I meet all sorts of whinny, pussy liberal hipsters (many of whom seem to have never been outside of Uptown Minneapolis) who tell me things like “there is no reason to ever use violence” “violence is wrong” and my favorite “there is always another way”

Now, how effective will I be using words to change their mind? Not very.

What if they get attacked today? Or raped? Or someone tries to kidnap them? Do you think a single action could change that believe? High probability.

I do not want that to happen to them, but if it does I am ok with it. It will be a test of their belief system. Can you talk down an attacker? Maybe….and then again maybe not.

Either way the action and outcome will reshape some belief systems. Won’t be mine.

Too extreme of an example for you?

Ok.

Let’s talk on another one of my favorite subjects- fitness.

You hate the way you look.

Of course there is nothing wrong with the way you look, but you are certain that something is wrong.

Now the slow way of unfucking you is to talk to you about it over and over. The fast way is get you doing things.

Think your fat? Then lets get on track to lose your fat gut.

Think your ugly? Then lets change your appearance and see if that helps you form a new opinion.

Think your too XXXX (insert your fucking problem) then lets take an ACTION and see if that changes how you FEEL about it.

Need a more vivid example?

You think you’re fat. So you go buy better food. Then you start exercising. You stop eating the foods that you think make you fat. You start doing that you believe are healthier. Things like getting more sleep, moving around more often, and generally getting off your ass more often.

Not much thinking in this ACTION plan is there? A lot of doing, not too much required thinking.

But what comes out of it?

You will get better. You will feel better. You will at some point change how you feel and think about your self. You are still fat in someones eyes, but not in your own any more.

What if you believe exercise and diet does not work?

You will still get better. I know all these fucking people now a days want to tell you how powerful your belief is….your belief ain’t shit yet. Your negative shit is not the most powerful factor in your life.

Positive thinking? garbage too.

Positive thoughts about shitty actions do not automatically equal better.

better equals better.

So DO more better.

Your better actions are the most powerful thing in your life. Your better actions trump your positive and negative thoughts everyday of the week. Its a like a good ol’ game of Rock, Paper, Hand Gun. The hand gun ALWAYS wins.

DOING is awesome. and Awesome is what man skills is all about.

#3 Making it better; Picking Your Friends

We meet a lot of people in life.

We grow up and go to school with people.

We live next to people.

We work with people.

Schools, churches, stores, bars, gyms, camps, sporting events; all full of people you will meet.

How do  you know who is  your friend?

What is your criteria on who can be your friend?

Do you have one?

I know a lot of people operate on the sameness idea.

We grow up here in this area, so we are friends.

We both went to school here, work there, or hang out back that way, so we are friends.

Others work on the niceness principle. You are nice to me, so we are friends.

I say fuck all that.

I don’t care where you grew up, where you went to school, where you work, how much money you make, what race you are, what silly god you pray to, or what music you like. I don’t care about your tastes in entertainment, leisure, or what you are against. I really don’t even care if you are nice. In fact out of my 10 close friends they are all considered assholes by at least someone.  Probably more than someone, more like someones. Hell I ever think they are assholes and we are friends. It simply is not a factor.

The only thing I think matters is that you are all about making yourself better.

Not making the world better.

Not saving anyone.

Just making yourself better, everyday, in whatever way you can.

If you are doing that you are I can probably be friends.

If not, I don’t want anything to do with you. Not right now at least.

Since I adopted this belief system I quit hanging around a lot of people.

I am pleased with the outcome.

I do not have many friends compared to the vast number of people I have met over the years, and I am ok with that.

The people I keep around me are getting better.

They are not “good people” and they are not “bad people”

They are “getting better people”

Liars? Some times. Dependable? Not really. Trust worthy? Nope. People you can look up to? I wouldn’t recommend it.

These are all fucking useless traits to look for. Search for those and you will find yourself disappointed over and over. Every single person has at some time or another failed in these areas.

Instead try out “are they getting better every time I see them?”

Yes, each and everyone of them.

I bet that will rub some people the wrong way, but someone needs to share this with you.

Everyone lies, some people do it real big like US Congress Men. Some do it real small, like you do. Like Me. Like everyone. So everyone is a liar, so stop sorting people by that idea.

Dependable? When you get better at predicting behavior you do not need to look for dependable. What is a lot better is to act within the range of what someone can do and is willing to do. Not what they promise to do and what you wish they will do…BTW this one was hard for me to shallow at first too. One of the core principles of Military life is learning to depend on people and be dependable to them. I was always pissed off in the service. Why? Because this belief system sets up to be failed over and over.

Trust worthy? Wrong question as I have learned. People can be trusted to do what they do. Most people use the idea of trust worthy when they want people to do something outside of what they normally do. You ask someone if they are trust worthy when you are going to tell them something that they shouldn’t know. If they could handle it you wouldn’t ask in the first place. The fact that you have ask is an indicator that you maybe calling it wrong.

People you can look up to? Jesus man you’re a fucking adult. You don’t need a hero do you? If you do I say be your own fucking hero.

So better is where it is at.

I’m cool with people who are doing that. I’m not very cool with people who are not.

It’s working for me.

I think it will work for you too. Come back to this one if it’s not time now. At some point you really may grow to like this one.

#4 Making it better; make your diet awesome

When I use the word diet, I am almost always referring to the way you eat. So not diet in the sense of “weight loss plan” but instead as the sum of all food you put in your mouth.

So much has been written about diet in the last 30 years, you would think it’s the most complicated process in the fucking world. Jump on Amazon and search “diet books.”

55,589 returns in one second.

Holy Shit!

I don’t know about you, but there is no way I am reading even one hundred diet books. A thousand is out of the question.

Why are there so many books on diet?

Because people are all fucked up over it.

All these experts keep telling you “eat clean” but you can’t do that very well can you?

Do you ever feel like you’re butt of the joke when the expert is telling you how easy clean eating is?

I know I did. For a long time.

here is a different piece of advice.

Live for the variety.

Eat whatever you want. In fact eat as much as you can. Let me explain

I say eat as much variety of food as possible. In all combinations.

Twinkie, $30 dollar per pound steaks, chili from the truck stop, lobster tails, salads, meats, dairy, breads, drink organic Kombucha, and Dr Pepper.

Variety in fuel sources.

Eat as many times a day as you can, and as few as possible to include not eating that day.

Variety in frequency of meals.

Stuff your face during one meal, and eat like a bird in another.

Variety in caloric density per meal

Have days where you gorge, and others where you fast.

Variety in daily total caloric density.

Hit up the finest restaurants, and the shittest diners.

Variety in quality of meals

Eat some meals raw, some meals baked, some meals fried, some meals grilled, some meals seared, some meals boiled, some meals burnt to a crips

Variety in food preparation.

Eat Fats, Eat proteins, Eat Carbs. Eat them in isolation and in combination

Variety in macro nutrient profile

Eat some meals in liquid, some in solid

Variety in matter state

Eat organic, eat processed, eat synthetic

Variety in food quality and state

What do you think of that?

I’m telling you, it will make you better.

Eating whatever you want is awesome. Having variety is awesome. Not being stuck to a dumbass ideological diet stance is awesome.

Naturally the opposite is true. Not being able to eat certain foods, especially the ones you enjoy is not very awesome.

Sameness with meals flat out sucks.

Pretending you’re something you’re not or imaging limitations which you do not own is not awesome.

Its true cavemen had a more limited diet than us, why the fuck do you think they worked so hard to get on with Agriculture and domesticating animals? Because the paleo man’s diet sucked.

Abusing animals is stupid, but I will gladly kill and eat any animal I choose. Because i am (and so are you, no matter if you like it) the top predators on this planet

Carbs are delicious, not something to fear.

Fats are your friend, and without it you would die.

Organic does not automatically equal healthier.

Processed does not equal shitty.

You can test all of this yourself.

#5 Testing is awesome, a true man skill.

You got to be willing to put this shit to the test.

I am no guru.

I did not write this as an “obey this document” article.

Instead these are all ideas which you can put to the test. Depending on how stuck you are will depend on what is useful to you now.

For some it will not be useful at all. Thats cool, I didn’t write this for those people.

I wrote this for the ones who will challenge ideas, belief systems, and dogma.

For you, all things are possible.

Now go out there dear dude bro, and make your life better!