Maybe instead of writing articles I will just have writers diarrhea all over my page and pour out all the shit that’s on mind. Judging by recent comments you guys get much more engaged this way…
#1 Homosexuals, The United States Military, and Recent Obama Administration Reform
A day ago on yahoo.com there was an article which stated military recruiters are allowing openly gay Americans to apply for military service. This comes as a dramatic change from the last many years of not allowing gays to service.
I got a surprising number of emails and facebook messages asking my opinion on this matter.
So here is my opinion.
I served with a number of homosexuals in the united states military in all branches- USAF, USMC, USAR, USN, and I even met a chief petty officer in the coast guard who looked like she was not exactly down for the dudes…
I have an opinion on Gays servicing- well done. Good on you for serving your country, and putting your ass on the line.
I have never seen, or heard anything during my entire career related to any homosexual activity which was disruptive to my job, my units mission, moral, or effectiveness. I have supervised at least 5 individuals who were homosexual and not one time did I have a single discipline issue or infraction related to their private life/personal life.
NOW, I have had many disruptions to my mission, my troops, and my life in general due to other people getting DUI’s, other people beating the fucking shit out of their wives, and other people miss handling weapons. I have lost break days to do weapons safety when troops had negligent discharges. I have had big big problems dealing with the numbers of rapes and sexual assaults male military members commit against female military members.
Here is the part that is really backwards. I have personally known 7 individuals who were homosexual service members who were discharged because they were found out. I have also known no less than 60 military members who had DUIs who were NOT discharged. I know 9 men who beat the shit out their wives who were not discharged. I know 23 members who had an excessive drinking problem and were investigated for substance abuse who were not discharged.
I got news for everyone- if two guys want to date that does not stop the big Red, White, and Blue machines roll. Having service members kill people in car crashes because they are drunk slows our roll. Having military members abusing their families slows our rolls. Having Military members high on drugs performing critical tasks slows our roll.
Serving the United Stated Air Force has been a highlight of my life. I traveled all over the world. I met interesting people. I have some incredible experiences. I see no reason why another American should be denied these opportunities because of their private/personal life choices.
For many years blacks were not considered fit for the service in leadership roles, yet black Americans service with honor and competence since World War II.
For many years women were not considered fit for military service, yet women have proven there are very few tasks which they can not preform as well if not better than a given man in the military.
I say good on anyone who wants to serve. We have allowed criminals in to the military, we have allowed drug dealers, child molesters, thieves, liers, cowards, and many other people who never should have been for years and years. No one wants to stand up against all the fucking gang members and thugs joining in, but the gays are discriminated against? Fuck that. I can’t see a single down side to allowing homosexuals to openly serve.
#2 Square Up Credit Card Reader and Application for Smart Phones- Fucking Awesome
DDN calls me one day and says he has something for me that arrived in the mail. He walks in the gym with a piece of white plastic the size of a LEGO block.
“It’s a credit card reader dude”
Now let me tell you how fucking incredible this is.
I had to apply for a credit card machine from a bank. They charged me 100 dollars to apply for it. They charge me for every transaction. They charge me for too little swipes, or too many.
Meanwhile, this free device and free app has the same rate per swipe as my bank, but was free. It’s super easy to use. It has a 1,000 dollar a day cap for deposit. So I can swipe all day and the only limit is it only drops a grand in my bank a day. Well I don’t have a 30K a month income yet so that’s a fine problem to have.
If you run any kind of business using credit cards, you need to check this thing out. It is awesome.
#3 Barking Dog, Owners I blame you. Here is the Fix.
My dog barks once a week. She usually does this once a week noise if you wake her up from one of her 19 hour naps. That is all. She doesn’t bark because I know how to train a damn dog not to bark.
My neighbors dog barks all the fucking time. He barks at the wind, he barks at leaves moving. I think he barks at his own bark.
Even better is that next to my gym is a dog day care and they bark all the time from 5 AM to 8 PM.
So here, I am going to teach all of you how to break a dog from barking. Some of you sissies out there may be sad at this, but you are the same assholes contributing to the problem.
Ok, so my granddaddy is from Virgina and he raised coon dogs his whole life. Hunting coons, fishing, and making money- that’s what Robert Glass is all about. Grandpa could break a dog from barking in a weekend. Here is his proven method.
- You will need a 5 gallon bucket.
- 4.3 gallons of water
- A barking ass dog.
Pretty easy. Dog barks, you grab dog, insert his head under water, and hold him there for 20 seconds. Next time he barks he gets 25 seconds (grandpa didn’t time this, but sometimes I would count) next time a little longer, then a little longer. All of a sudden the dog learns barking = drowning and shuts up.
Now I know here in gentle Minnesota most of the people can’t imagine employing such low tech/high effect training. I promise it will work. In fact this method doesn’t just work on dogs, it works on people. Got someone who needs to shut the fuck up OR needs to talk? Bucket treatment will get them right.
#4 Weird Thoughts on Strength In the Fitness Industry
Big surprise- Power lifters who write for popular media are telling everyone “if you can’t lift X you are weak”
Naturally people who read the popular media fitness magazines find me, typically when i am not in the mood for fluffing over numbers, and ask this question.
“Hey Adam, how much do you bench press?”
“I dunno, I don’t own a bench so I rarely do it. For my chest work I bend steel bars.”
“Oh, does that work?”
“I don’t know, how much do you think I can bench press?”
“Well, by the look for your chest and shoulders I would say at least 400″
“Ok, I bench 400″
“Wow”
“yeah…wow”
Seriously I have had this conversation while working security at Drink Uptown no less than 10 fucking times.
Now the dude bro who asks this never bench presses either. But not because they bend steel, its because they don’t workout. I personally don’t know how my value is increased or diminished by a lift which the other person doesn’t even do.
For the online community, I been getting a lot of these ones.
“Adam how much do you deadlift?”
“350 lbs on the 2″ vertical bar lift”
“No like a deadlift”
“Oh, I did a 550 one hand deadlift just last week”
“No dude not a one hand deadlift, like a two hands deadlift”
“Ok, I got a 245 lbs pinch deadlift on my strongergrip bar just yesterday.”
“Well what about a barbell?”
“I did a 405 Axle overhand axle deadlift yesterday”
“What about a barbell?”
“Hey bro, question for you- can you do any of the lifts I just sent you?”
“No”
“Ok do you even deadlift?”
“No, it hurts my back”
“Ok, why are you asking?”
“I dunno, just wondering”
Like, check this out internet dude bros. I am a fucking grip athlete. I’m a good one too. I don’t compare myself to anyone but myself. You would do well to adapt that idea.
But- if we want to get all retarded with comparisons I will offer a wager.
I am drug free, 27 years old, I weigh 204 lbs.
Here is an idea for a contest. 19 events. All Events must be completed in under 90 minutes total.
- Barbell clean and jerk
- Barbell snatch
- Squat
- Bench press
- Deadlift
- Two hands pinch deadlift on Eurodevice
- Grippers from 20mm set, best left + right
- 5 minute kettlebell snatch test with 24kg bell
- 3 minute push up test
- 1 mile run
- Pull ups from dead hang
- Medley- bend a nail, rip a phone book, tear a deck of cards, bend a #3 Horseshoe, Snap a drill bit, break a crasftman wrench
- Steel bending, all three styles
- blob lifting medley
- farmers walk on 1/4 mile course
- Finger lift- All 8 fingers for total
- hanging leg raise from bar.
- hammer levering.
- 10 minute long cycle clean and jerk with two 24kg kettlebells.
Now to make it interesting, we will afterwards go eat, drink beers, and get up at 6Am to do the entire thing a second time.
I will show you what separates the boys from the men.
When I offer this, no one ever agrees.
I’m not a power lifter, body builder, kettle bell lifter, or Weight lifter. I don’t email you and harass you about my favorite lifts, so return the favor dudes.
Imagine if swimmers walked around the world, asking everyone how fast they can swim 200 meters. If would be chaos!
Final thoughts on this stream of awesome- When I look at the current crop of vocal power lifters turned guru I am not fucking impressed. I don’t care how much you guys used to lift or lift now. You move like shit, and walking upstairs makes you tired and out of breath. Your not bad ass, and the average freshman in college on the wrestling team would work your ass so badly you would be broke for a week. Get off the everyone who doesn’t do squat/deadlift/benchpress is weak line.
#5 Modern Diet Advise Sucks
Let us consider the problem is not technically the knowledge but the application.
Or maybe the application is not the problem, but instead the issue is the fuel.
Or maybe the fuel is not the problem it’s the knowledge.
Shit I just walked in a circle.
That is what the rest of the world sounds like to me when diet is discussed. No one knows that fuck the problem is, so naturally they don’t know how to fix it.
This is what everyone says they know, but rarely practice
Eat as clean as you can the maximal effective amount, with some amounts of chemical distress, exercise as often as you can in both Eu-stress and distress models, sleep a fair amount whenever possible, and keep your stress levels as resolved as you can
Honestly, it really is that simple. Not always easy in any sense of the word, but that is what it is all about.
#6 I am Disappointed with Most New Movies
Now I don’t watch movies all that often. I watch previews for new movies and nothing makes me want to see it.
I have seen the following movies in 2010
- Avatar: Dances with Wolves meets Starwars plus smurfs
- Predators: More bad assess meets more predators. Ends almost identical to Predator (big guy kills the predator by using mud as camo and fire to distract it). Minus Arnold this is not a good deal.
- Inception: Absolutely incredible film. Made everything else very very lame by comparison.
Nothing else has gotten my attention. My associates often tell me I need to go see film X or Film Y, but I know the modern movie theater will fail me.
So here is my list of what I want to see next
- New South Park Movie. Come on Matt and Trey, you can do it.
- More movies with Will Farrel teamed up with John Riley.
- Fewer movies about geeks winning over hot girls by persistent hunting. That shit breeds weak habits.
- More movies with Clint Eastwood directing them. He is awesome.
#7 Chipotle is the Best Fast Food in America.
Correct.
#8 Smoking Bans Suck Ass
I get the whole thing on how smoking in hospitals or elementary schools is not cool, but for the life of me I can’t imagine why smoking in a bar is a no-no. It’s about to get cold here, and zero degrees weather makes my post Guinness cigarette a lot less enjoyable.
I asked around why smoking bans exist, and the consistent answer is because smoking is offensive to non-smokers. I would like to submit some suggestions for other bans based on the offensive to others.
- No ugly people zones.
- No old people zones
- No kid zones
- No people who don’t take a fucking shower zones
- No people who don’t shut the hell up zones
- No country music/no techno/no pop music zones
- No hippie zones
I am told every vote matters, and my opinion is appreciated by my current senator- so there you go bubba, get on it.
#9 Modern American Youths Obsession With Cage Fighting
Frankies Black eye, directly related to cage fighting activities
I have only thing to say about this guys: wearing tap out or affliction gear makes you a cage fighter as much as shaving your face and getting a hair cut makes you a navy seal. Want to get more legit as a cage fighter? Go get punched in the face 4 days a week. A black eye makes you much more of a cage fighter. In fact, here is a picture of Frankie Faires with a black eye. I like this picture, because Frankie needs one of these at least quarterly.
#10 Thoughts as a Veteran on Civilians and Their Opinions of Service
This is an actual conversation I recently had.
“What branch were you in?”
“United States Air Force”
“Oh, what was your MOS (note fuck heads, the USAF has AFSCs, not MOS)”
“3P071″
“ummm, what does that mean?”
“Law Enforcement/Security”
“Oh, yeah my cousins best friends brother is a Marine”
“Yeah, thats awesome dude, we all know at least one marine. What branch were you in?”
“I couldn’t get in, because I couldn’t pass the ASVAB. What did you score on the ASVAB?”
“A 93″
“Is that good?”
“yeah that’s called a 93 out of 99″
“Yeah well…so what kind of plane did you fly in the Air Force?”
“An M-60, than an M-4″
“Oh wow, is it fast?”
“Yeah, an M-4 is pretty fast.”
“So…did you go to Iraq?”
“Yes”
“Where?”
“How good is your geography bro?”
“Why?”
“Because with a 12 on your ASVAB I doubt you know where anything in Iraq is. In fact I doubt you know what countries boarder Iraq or where it’s at on the map”
“Well…yeah, I mean no i don’t but I think that’s cool you went.”
“Why is it cool?”
“Well you know you got to fly your M-4 over there and all”
At this point I am out of funny juice. I had to confess an M-4 is a rifle, and when I said Law Enforcement/Security that means I did Security work and Law Enforcement work, which interferes with flying a plane. He was pretty bummed out at that point.
I never have to fear lack of good conversation, because bad conversation is always incredibly useful to me.
#10 I am Coming in Late to This One, But it is My Favorite Youtube Video Right Now
This video captures every stereotype known to me about dude bros in New Jersey.
#11 I Have Owned the Same Pair of Chuck Taylors Now for 2 Years
Every time I think about replacing them, I realize it will take 24 months to get them as broke in and comfortable as these ones.
#12 Grip and Rip 2.1 Continues to Sell
When it came out, every RKC in the World acted like I was a fucking leper. When I review the purchase list I see more of you are warming up to it. Must be hard to still struggle to press the same bell now for 6 months despite 5 thousands ladders of 1,2,3,4,5 X5 in 70 minutes.
I offer you PR everyday, no more injury in the gym, the fastest way out of pain, and the best gains of your life. What you have to do is ask more questions and listen to yourself. Click here NOW if you’re game
#13 Field Report 21 Oct 2010
Didn’t lift shit today, trained Jon, Jake, and Jeanette. Watched my dog sleep. Wrote a lot of copy. Wrote this. Drank a big bottle of Naked Brand coconut protein juice.
#14 What Comes Next?
Don’t ask me, I’m not even sure.
{ 38 comments }
Awesome
didn’t train much during the soccer season, went from 7-16 pull ups in 15 days, its hard to say this system doesn’t work…. I never use to make progress this quickly.
Excellent news Christian!
Entertaining as always! While the wife’s at work I must try the no bark training out on the dog. Damn yapper. I have 2 pairs of chucks, one blue everyday pair I’ve had for going on 4 years. And my dress black ones going on 2 years.
Damn you guys and your Chucks. I can’t wear ‘em cuz they blister my pinky toes. Funk dat. I wish more parents would use your dog training advice on their unruly offspring.
Wide fred flintstone feet?
I got your email, I will get back to you on Saturday
I continue to be amused by your mental trains of thought, so I vote for keeping it up.
Though for #14, the new dvd is suppose to be out pretty soon I thought. Speaking of, any ETA or estimated price info?
Top secret but very soon!
I understand, so no more questions, but I’m looking forward to it. I’ve just recently decided to get serious about grip training and then stumbled upon this blog, picked up John Brooksfield’s books and am starting to gather equipment.
I totally agree with you about serving in the military! They should not be discriminated against because of their sexual preferences! I absolutely feel you on stupid people asking stupid questions too! While not a 93, I scored an 88 on the ASVAB and also get asked “Is that good?” I usually reply, “It means that I can pretty much pick any job in the military that I want!” I too am sick and tired of the current trend of gurus talking about the powerlifts being all that or some form of conditioning workout being king! My goals are not yours, so go fuck yourself!!! I have had a pair of Nike wrestling shoes that I have used to work out in for about 15 years now and there is no way that I would ever part with them! I tell everyone that will listen about Grip n Rip and Adam Glass! Its not my fault that most just either won’t try it or get it! They have been told!
Tim
thanks for your continued support brother
Damn,
It fucks my shit every time I see that pic of me with a black eye.
I’m fairly certain I’m wearing a tapout tshirt, too.
so awesome.
If you are wearing tap out it only makes you more legit, since you are in fact a real cage fighter.
This blog post is full of win. Good to rave about the cc processor, I was ready to sign up for another service.
Square up is awesome, I strongly recommend investigating it
Great post mate.
Ifor welcome back. I was worried I lost you to step 5 of CC and the advice of people who may or maynot still train…
I defanitely think you should do this once a week, Adam! Good shit! More man skills, too…
I got some new man skillz cooking now
if you get bored, you should do bench presses, chase it with yeager bombs, wear new chuck taylors, have avatar in the background TV, and throw in a crying baby and a barking dog. We need more of your gold blogs.
oh yeah, how much do you deadlift?
do you rock climb in those funny shoes?
LOL
I’m not sure what my favorite part was, but that thing about Frankie getting shined up at least once quarterly is sticking out in my mind right now. Ha! >:-)
I read this post last night sitting next to my wife, who had her 2 tiny ass chiwawas on her lap. Got to the dog bark remedy and laughed loud and had a general sense of giddiness. She said, what’s so funny? I said you wouldn’t appreciate it! (As I’m picturing my self with a bucket of water and 2 chiwawas!!!
Adam, you are definitely great at lifting heavy stuff, but your also good with writing as well. You either need your own tv show or radio morning show. How’s this sound, Heck with your cup of coffee, get your morning fill of Glass. Brain Droppings with Adam T Glass.
Frankie said I am not funny, I am just retarded LOL
Some reason I’m amused by retarded funny. Favorite movie is dumb and dumber. I will probably have that playing at my funeral
Oh Yeah, and I 2nd the Will Farrell/ John Riley more movies. It’s the F*&kin Catalina Wine mixer!
Nice, the part about the barking dog hits close to home. Maybe I’ll employ the method in the future.
Very good points.
Although I do believe there are more humane ways to shut a dog up. Still true regarding neighbors who don’t do frack about it, however.
The video is fucking priceless.
I’m in for your contest (if hopefully I can make the trip). Gonna have a blast. If I can’t make the trip I’ll organize the same contest right over here sometime.
You flied an M-4. Whoaaa. Is it comfortable?
Cheers!
Mat
I found the M-4 much more comfortable than when it was humping a fucking M-240B with 800 rounds of ammo. That was no fun.
PETA hates you.
I have zero fear of a group who is afraid to hurt animals, I will hurt animals, plants, humans, and steel objects.
hey Boris how has your V bar been treating you you buddy?
Good! Enjoying it. Progressing – not huge PRs, but steady. Very fun.
Fucking gold. All of it, except for the smoking bit. Being an involuntary second hand smoker until I knew what it was cost me about 15% of my lung capacity, so I have no qualms about telling smokers to poison themselves elsewhere.
Keep blowing our hair back
Besides my 2 cents above, your ramblings are a good examoke of what everyone needs more exposure to: a “go fuck yourself if you don’t like it, or grow a pair and speak up” attitude.
1. “don’t ask, don’t tell” was a half ass, trying to please everybody and accomplishing nothing but hurt to people willing to serve this country pieces of shit legislation. so what if G.I. Joe wants to make nice time with Sgt Slaughter. he’s still a badass.
2. that is cool
3. my wife complains about the neighbor’s dogs barking and waking up Luca. I shared your solution. she didn’t like it.
4. dude, you know you just make up shit to be good at because you can’t bench or squat for shit
5. there is one piece of modern advice I followed to go from 177lbs to 160lbs in about a month. if you want to know what that was get in touch with Mike T Nelson http://www.extremehumanperformance.com
6. i don’t remember the last time I went to a movie but Clash of the Titans ruled, both of them
7. yes
8. i quit smoking so i don’t have to breath that shit. there’s a jackass right now who leaves work and smokes outside my gym. the shit blows in while I’m training people. the priceless part is that he’s usually wearing sweat pants.
since i don’t drink either, you can have your smoking in bars. that’s another piece of half-ass legislation. it’s a bar, not a gym or a hospital. people are drinking alcohol and sugar water, not green tea and milk.let them smoke, it will help thin out the population a little bit.
9. i love training the guys in the tapout gear, you can damn near cripple them and they love it, it’s hilarious
10. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again. thank your for your service to our country.
10. those are my people brother. i grew up with that shit. come out here next summer and I’ll take you to Seaside Heights.
that being said brah, you’ve started posting half naked pictures of yourself on facebook and last time i saw you there was a bunch of product in your hair. you may have a little jerzey in yu.
11. shoes are for wimps. i’ve spent 90% of the last year barefoot.
don’t whine about minnesota in the winter either, it’s your dumbass fault for moving from north dakota to minnesota. that’s like don’t ask don’t tell and banning smoking in bars.
12. not every RKC in the world acted like you were a leper.
13. i’m going to lift now, sixth day in a row, eleven out of thirteen, hit some big intensity PRs this week and today smells like it’s going to be some density
14. next, you and will are wake up, gonna nurse your hangovers, patch up the battle scars from that tussle you had with a 65 year old transvestite last night, find your clothes (& your chucks), gear up, go lift some shit and teach other people how to lift some shit.
Holy shit. Where is the “like” button for this comment???
OMG!! As a dog lover,, I cringed the first time I read about your solution to barking dogs problem. I know you mean well and I can understand the logic behind this metode and I think that might work. Beside positive reinforcement,, negative reinforcement can be use to make animals or human obey you or the rules. I can’t help to imagine doing this method to one of the dude at my gym who always tell women to use Barbie colored dumbbells to avoid waking up in the morning looking as big as Arnold
Looking forward to hear about your experiences in Iraq. NOT because I thought that was ‘cool’. But because as a-soon-to-be-psychologist,, maybe you can enlight me about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and how to cope with this in real situation..
And yeah,, Inception fucked my brain. LOL
-Devy-
I love dogs too, but having a barking ass dog in a neighborhood is bullshit. You already see the application to a dumb person too- thats good
i have no plans on public discussion of my experiences in Iraq, maybe in a few years.
Inception gets my vote for best film of 2010. I am looking forward to a few other ones on the horizon, but i bet they will suck