I have not been able to write anything interesting in a few days. It is annoying.
I don’t watch TV, I don’t watch movies, and I have been slacking on reading. I don’t surf the web anymore because there are few pages which are interesting to me.
I seem to have a distinct lack of interesting hobbies beyond lifting heavy shit and training people to look better.
There are basically 5 people I talk to routinely, and at any given moment 1 of them is pissed about something I did or didn’t do.
So I need to change some shit up. I don’t have any designs on what that will mean yet.
What has been entertaining is having my bulldog here with me. She is a lazy little fur ball who sleeps for 19 hours a day. Pretty much the most amusing dog I have ever owned.
Anyways- here are some things which have been on my mind lately.
#1 Americans Idea of “The Holidays”
I always thought a holiday was a specific date on a calender marking a specific event. Most people I talk to instead define the holidays as this period of time starting somewhere in early November and ending somewhere in January. During this time nothing can be scheduled except excessive meals and drinking and general lazy ass behavior, coded as family time. People force themselves to be around other people they work to avoid the rest of the year, and they bitch about how dysfunctional their family shit is.
Naturally I would not give a rats ass about this except it affects one specific area of my life- my wallet. I talk to people, they tell me they “need” to lose weight. They tell me they “need” to look better. But nothing can start until after the “Holidays.”
If your doctor tells you to lose 20 lbs, why would you start after 2 months of solid gorging on fattie food and snacks? Just wondering.
I realize of course nothing will change this short of civilization collapse.
The best part is 2 January when everyone commits to “getting back in shape” which means joining a gym for 2 weeks.
I have no recommendations, suggestions, or ideas about this. Just on my mind.
#2 People, excuses, and their kids.
Continuing on this stream of thought: Stop blaming your kids for your lack of time management skills.
“I would love to workout, but I have two kids”
I don’t see the problem.
People tell me they are busy with their kids, but most peoples child care skills can be summarized as sitting their kid down in front of a TV and having them watch the same dumb DVD over and over. At some point they throw a cheese burger at the kid. Hopefully they request the child bathes. The kid will fall asleep in front of the TV, and they put it in bed.
I see no reason that in that awesome block of Monsters Vs. Aliens take 88 you couldn’t throw a kettlebell around for 20 minutes or do some burbees. It’s your fat ass, you worked hard to get it.
Hey man, I don’t have kids. I don’t want kids. The reason I don’t is because I am not interested in adding one more problem to the war on drugs or another SAT failure in the year 2027.
BUT, if I did have a kid I would teach them to read, write, balance a check book, play sports, throw rocks at squirrels, and tie their shoes. I wouldn’t have them log 30 hours of week in front of the TV and I definitely would not blame my inherent laziness on their existence.
I don’t have any other recommendations other than “Don’t Do That” and I know it will continue. It doesn’t piss me off, it’s just on my mind.
#3 A certain kettlebell DVD by a certain TV celebrity trainer and the so called controversy.
I like this one. This chick is a nationally recognized authority on fitness because of a TV show that has inspired thousands of Americans to lose weight. She makes a kettebell DVD, and all of a sudden every D-Bag who attended a 3 day course is saying she is bullshit. I don’t see how a lawyer, land scaper, IT programmer or waitress who pays 2K to learn to swing a bell is more qualified then JM to teach fat loss. 75% of the so call “certified kettlebell trainers” are not professional trainers. By professional, I mean you make your money in fitness. Not you work at a fucking bank 40 hours a week and run one class a week out of a garage. There is nothing wrong with that BTW- but don’t think you are more qualified than someone who is paid more in one week than you make in one month to train someone when it comes to cast iron balls of metal with a handle on it.
Do I agree with Biggest Losers plan? Nope. But I know if I was hired by a major network TV show to train people I would do whatever they wanted to make their ratings. Because I like money.
I do have a recommendation on this one- let it go, and return to debating what color patagonia pants are more approved to lift in.
#4 Professional Sports Fans and Dungeons and Dragons
I am not sure if I can tell the difference between a group of men who sit around arguing over players stats and a group of teens arguing over what sword kills the fire dragon on level 12 faster. I certainly don’t see a distinction between dudes who spend 20 hours a week managing their fantasy sports league online and the people who spend 20 hours playing the warcraft game. I am not here to say what is cool or lame, other than WOW is lame and obsessing over sports stats is lame. How about you go play a sport and improve your own stats, instead of wracking your melon over how professional sports coaches should run their teams. The only exception to this rule is if you, dear reader, are a professional sports coach. In that case carry on.
#5 Guinness Beer, dumb people, Irish hertiage
Every time someone sees me drinking a Guinness, they ask if I am irish. No asshole, I am an American. I finally have a birth certificate to prove that now too. Regardless of what I say, they will go on to tell me Guinness tastes better in Ireland.
Now, I don’t know if that nugget of wisdom is useful or not. I am not heading to Ireland any time soon. If I did, I would probably drink the local beers there instead. Makes sense, I can get a damn Guinness in any country in the modern world, why the fuck would I go to Ireland to drink that.
If you see me drinking a Guinness, do not comment on how you think it goes down “like motor oil” or some equally dumb thing. Just say nothing, and allow us to enjoy sweet golden silence. Man silence is awesome.
#6 Jets Pizza.
This pizza is awesome. It’s not as good as Punch Pizza, but it’s really damn good. If you are near a Jets pizza you need to try it. The square cut pizza with spicy crust is my favorite.
#7 Vibram Five Fingers
How the hell is it that in Minneapolis there are still thousands of people who are shocked and amazed when they see VFF? Go any where and you will see someone wearing them. Wear them any where, and at least 5 people will approach you with what I have determined are the four critical questions
- What are those?
- Are the for rock climbing?
- Can you run in them?
- Are they comfortable?
Now, lets address the four critical VFF questions in order.
What are those? Well, what the fuck do they look like? Do they look like a freezer? Do they look like a wrench? Do they look like a computer hard drive? Oh wait they are on my feet, that means they are SHOES. Shoes people, thats what goes on your feet.
Are they for rock climbing? This is an absurd question at first glance, but damn it every person asks me specifically this one. It must be that I look like some kind of god damn world class rock climber because every person in Minnesota asks me this. Fuck man, I don’t know. I guess they could be for rock climbing, except for the distinct lack of mountains down by the pub across from the Twins stadium.
“Can you run in them?” Yes, I can.
Yes never leaves them feeling full. They always have to follow up with “Oh.”
Oh indeed.
And finally.
“Are they comfortable” Now this one is particularly strange, because no matter how many times you assure them VFFs are in fact comfortable the person will just stare at the toes and shake their head.
Women of Minneapolis. You destroy your feet with high heels which leave your back and feet killing you. Why in the world would comfort or function even cross your mind when you will go out wearing 5 inch heels?
Some times I feel like everyone is taking crazy pills.
I got nothing else. I am going to bed. This will now roll out unedited, no spell check, no grammar check. Josh I am sorry in advance in the event you have to fix it.
{ 32 comments }
Having kids was the best decision of my life, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Nothing, no matter how much you lift, how much money you make, how big your house is, NOTHING compares to the feeling of being a dad Adam.
Why would you say that you don’t want to contribute to the war on drugs or another SAT failure? To me that reads like you would just be another dead-beat parent, allowing your kids to sit in front of the TV all day…if that is fact, then it is good that you do not want any kids. However, I dont think that is you dude. Sit and think for a minute how awesome it would be to have a son or daughter to carry on your training thoughts. To have a brand new life to mold and shape. Someone who may be a great trama surgeon, be President, or even PLAY in the NFL with a 100 million dollar contract…
I know about being strapped for time. I took 6 months off from work when my boys were born because #1- I could afford to because I dont do stupid shit with my money and #2- The state allows me 6 months of unpaid, with benefits leave for family. I am headed back Monday the 25th. That will consist of getting up at 5 am, getting ready, driving an hour to work, working 0730 – 1600, driving an hour home. Getting in at 5 pm, THEN having to lift, do some sort of cardio, AND grip, get the 1st graders homework going, get the 3 year old working on her flash cards, get time with my babies working on motor skill and coordination all before their bed time at 9:00 pm. Then, if I am lucky, I will get an hour of down time before I need to be in bed to be back up at 5 a to deal with inmates who hate me and hate life.
I don’t plop my kids down in front of the TV, but you know what, sometimes I HAVE to. When I train, the babies are in their stroller or jumper in the gym with me. The 6 and 3 year old are lifting their dumbbells or using my bench or pull down machine. However, when we come in, and the babies are screaming because they need a bottle or diapers or are just tired, my wife is making dinner for 6, and the 3 year old is having a melt down because she wanted cake for dinner and we insisted on chicken, sometimes it is easier to click on Sponge Bob for 20 minutes and let the house return to normalcy so we can finish what we are doing. If this makes me a bad dad, then so be it.
I can completely understand when someone says they do not have time to workout. Parents who say that MIGHT just be very involved parents (cub scouts, dance class, PTA, gymnastics, pee wee football, karate, 10 hours at work, household chores (someone has to clean, do dishes, laundry, etc.)) I am lucky that my wife understands my passion of being under the bar and embraces it. I am also lucky that she is a stay at home mom so I can just handle the wood stove, garbage, and lawn work (gutters, mowing, leaf removal, etc.) But I can tell you first hand, until you have walked a mile, you can’t judge.
I enjoy your blog Adam. Great job at WSH this time around. I am hoping now that I am hitting some grip again that my numbers will go up a lot.
-Rick
Rick, I agree with you on everything but this I can completely understand when someone says they do not have time to workout. You show me someone who doesn’t have 20 minutes they could spend in a better way and I will show you someone who is on Prilosec, Lipitor, or Avandia.
Choices.
Good on you with everything else.
I can assure you David that I am on none of those things, but on days when everything is hectic, I am torn in 7 different directions for one thing or another, and by the time I have a minute it is 10 pm, I SKIP WORKOUTS.
I know I am a fat, lazy fuck as Adam so perfectly put it, but sometimes, just sometimes, I perfer the comfort of my California King to the squat bar.
Hopefully in 14 years I will be running 2 boys to football practice, monitoring their diets, their lifting, conditioning, homework, etc. Working 10 hours STILL (ugh!), lifting myself, and making sure my wife gets her workouts in.
Choices is right! My choice is MY FAMILY. Someday when I am burned into ashes and spread, I want my family to be like, “He was an awesome dad who showed us love, affection, taught us anything was possible, taught us how to be repsosible adults, and how to be reach our goals!” I dont want them to say, “For fucks sake he spent a lot of time working out…”
I get my training in when I can. As long as I can still do 20 hill sprints with ease, squat 500, and pull 650, I am happy. I will always train for it’s health and stress relieving benefits, but I will never make it the most important thing in my life again.
-Rick
Hmmm Rick I think we all get caught up in the hyperbole. I’m not trying to argue with you. YOU can skip workouts. The 275lb John Doe who is “choosing his family” but could die at any moment of a heart attack or have a diabetic seizure is not making the right choices.
Yes what Dave just said.
David-
Good points. I was thinking along the lines of being someone who didnt miss to being someone who has to miss from time to time. Not someone who never worked out.
Yes, 275lbr is making the wrong choices. I do MUCH more cardio now because I want to tackle my twin boys when they are 15 and not get gassed out mid wrestling match! LOL!
I can’t let the young bulls get the old bull so-to-speak. Especially since I fully expect them to be 600 pound squatters by the time they are seniors! LOL!
Good stuff-
-Rick
I say Because you do the lifting now, you will be Dad out on the field in 14 years. The same cant be said of the hundreds of thousands who have grown roots out of their ass which attached to the lazyboy. I see no reason why someone couldn’t do ten minutes of snatching while their kid learned to walk run or jump in the room. Ask any kid and they will tell you it would be fun to exercise with Mom and Dad.
Rick you wouldn’t want to be the single voice of parents on this topic because very few go through the steps you do. Lot of bad practice day to day in our country with people doing far under the minimal effective amount.
Adam-
Absolutely not!! In my daily profession I get to see what happens when parents just dont give a fuck!
However, your initial statement struck a cord. The internet is good for that, lack of tone, etc. I do understand why, and sometimes have no choice, but to skip a workout.
-Rick
Great write up Adam. As I was reading it though and thinking about the commitment of kids Ricks name was the first one I’d thought of and I’m very glad that he took the time to post. I was of the same opinion as you Adam for many years until something “clicked” within me. I don’t have any of my own but I’m sure anxious to see if I can have one or two. I’m not saying that your opinion is wrong or that it’ll change but I’ve got a feeling it might and I’m damn sure if it happens for you you’ll embrace it with a passion beyond anything you’ve ever done before.
Not meaning to offend you Adam but I think you’ll soften up a bit
Awesome, awesome post.
Guinness is good.
“During this time nothing can be scheduled except excessive meals and drinking and general lazy ass behavior, coded as family time”
Lol.
“Stop blaming your kids for your lack of time management skills.”
THANK YOU.
“Hopefully they request the child bathes.” Lol.
“She makes a kettebell DVD, and all of a sudden every D-Bag who attended a 3 day course is saying she is bullshit.” Lol.
“Fuck man, I don’t know. I guess they could be for rock climbing, except for the distinct lack of mountains down by the pub across from the Twins stadium.” Lol.
@Rick – About kids, Adam obviously struck a cord
I agree with your view but also with Adam’s. That is because they are not, in essence, contradictory. What you’re doing about your having kids is exactly his point, I think.
What you said about the beauty of having kids can’t be denied, except We Who Don’t Have Kids can’t know. However it’s also pretty obvious that those who do not want kids shouldn’t, period. If he does have kids while not wanting them, they might indeed end up like what he described.
Yup, I think that is all.
Mat
Matt-
We are in agreeance.
-Rick
My son is the most precious thing in my life. I don’t believe everyone is cut out to have children, and I certainly wouldn’t tell someone they have some obligation to do so.
Max had been alive for about 5 minutes when I suddenly realized I had something I would die or kill for with no hesitation. I thought I had cared about things before. My wife, my family, my own life–but this was something very different. I personally could not have experienced it any other way, but we’ve all got our own backstories, temperaments, and things that fulfill us. I have learned things that I could not have learned any other way, short of becoming a father. I also don’t think everyone needs to learn those things (talking to you, every parent I see on every episode of COPS)
But I’m glad I have the chance. There is nothing else that requires this much sacrifice, that is this big of a hassle at time, that could possibly be worth it to me.
Good stuff Josh. Said what I wanted to say.
My boys were born 6 weeks early and spent 2 weeks in the NICU. My wife and I spent 14 hours a day with them, for 14 straight days. By the time we left, I think we were both qualified to be NICU nurses! LOL!
When your child is born blue and not breathing, and you see him for 5 seconds before he is whisked away to be intubated, then you sit for 3 hours while he is being worked on and stabilized and you can’t see him, touch him, or hold him, your life changes. As Josh said, I would walk through fire in a gasoline suit for my kids.
-Rick
From what I’ve heard, VFF aren’t so great for rock climbing, due to the separation of the toes, as opposed to the solid rubber of climbing shoes (which distributes the weight more equally across the foot, as opposed to a single toe, which is important when you are trying to balance a large chunk of your body weight on a 1cm ridge).
Adam, I was looking through the site trying to learn more about The Movement and biofeedback and noted that the videos had been taken down/made private. I was just wondering when/if they will be back.
Dave
I have never been real rock climbing, only on a wall. I have no idea how they work, I only know everyone seems to think I am a rock climber :-0
I cover the Gym Movement Protocol in my DVD Grip and Rip 2.1, and an extensive education in the system through my coaching program.
Funny stuff Adam!
The oddest thing when I was in Ireland was to see people paying big money for imported beer–Miller Genuine Draft.
The other fun thing is to take first time visiting German friends to the bar and order them some light American beer. Last time the result was said German friend spraying my other friend as he yelled “What is this piss water you drink?” Well worth it!! hahaha
Rock on
Mike T Nelson PhD(c)
http://www.extremehumanperformance.com/home.php
LOL I think I’d pay to see that happen.
Mat
Every civil nation has a beer, and I am all about trying new stuff. I get to enjoy Guinness at my leisure, when I head to Europe next year I am going to get my fists on the local swill.
I’ll throw in my little bit on the rest, then on the kids/family thing cause that seems the hotter topic.
Shit I laughed a LOT at this article, especially the VFFs and Guiness parts.
The “American view of The Holidays” was very interesting to me. The Australian attitude seems to be similar in the lack of self-control but generally more restrained to the actual DAYS of holiday rather than such a block of time. The way “The Holidays” get referred to on American TV, I always just assumed that was being all PC about Hannukah and shit, not really because people were so lazy for so long. Hah, live and learn.
The JM KB DVD, I think if people are really crying that much, they’re not recognising the opportunities inherent. This DVD will give a lot of exposure to KBs, which means more likely business for KB trainers if people want some hands on help. And, hey, if it’s as terrible as people claim it will be, more broken clients to get out of pain and on their way. Good thing, right? If you haven’t broken them, who cares how they got broken?
The kids thing:
I am guilty of saying sometimes “I don’t have time to exercise because of the new baby/pregnancy, etc.” But I’ve been mulling it over lately and it’s not really true, nor do I really act that way. When I say “I don’t have time” it more likely means one of a couple of things:
1) I didn’t manage to find as MUCH time as I would LIKE (doesn’t mean I did nothing).
2) When I had some choice of what I spent my time on, exercise got out-prioritised.
Neither of these things is actually bad. I have let it be bad for my state in the past, but I am trying to fix that.
I have times when I get down on myself for “not doing enough” but the question is, what is enough? Why am I not doing more? If I were unhealthy/incapable of the physical tasks I am required to do on a regular basis, then I’m not doing enough, that’s for sure. If I am not doing more because I “just couldn’t be bothered” or allow trivial things to push it aside, that’s not good either.
But neither is the case and with an attentive caring parent it is unlikely to ever be the case.
Every moment I spend enhancing, observing and guiding the healthy development of my child is vastly more important than my own. I know any good parent reading this will know exactly what I mean when I say that I know and feel this with my whole being. Self preservation/ambition goes out the window when these two things conflict.
On the other hand, we all get the same amount of time. 24hrs a day, 7 days a week. Sure, yesterday I had trouble “finding time” at home because the baby hadn’t slept all day and my wife’s shoulders were tired and sore from carrying her, so on so on.
Luckily for me, I thought outside the box and took my Super Gripper to work that day. I’d already hit PRs before I even came home.
Life doesn’t always work out how we pictured. But if you can’t paint a picture like Van Gogh, doesn’t mean you have to quit painting; you just might be the next Picasso.
I’m going to write a book and the title’s going to be Everyone is Fucking Stupid. I don’t understand people sometimes so I’m going to just assume they are dumb.
Don’t care if anybody cares or agrees, heres what I have to add.
1. The holidays start in a little over a week Adam. That’s when people start talking about shopping for gifts and never really get around to doing it. As soon as the leaves start falling people start expecting it to snow (although for you guys it may be true). It’s amazing how cyclical people are. They live the same year over and over again.
2. Monica dropped Luca off at the gym Tuesday and I lost my shit watching him trying to pick up every kettlebell in the gym. He’s only 23 lbs right now. He’s going to love that place and I’m going to love watching him run around it.
Life can be busy and some days I don’t train when I probably should have but I can guarantee you that I could’ve found ten or twenty minutes during that day. I understand that it may be hard to get in the car, drive whatever it takes to get to the gym and drive back but ten minutes can be found anywhere most days.
I don’t have time means it wasn’t my first priority. That’s fine, I’m not telling anyone what their priorities should be. Just say it wasn’t on the top of my list.
Luca had an overnight EEG a few weeks ago. We don’t normally have the TV on around him much but sometimes we need a half hour to fold the laundry or cook dinner so we sedate him with Yo Gabba Gabba (which is awesome). Anyway, he was watching TV when I got to the hospital and his brain activity WAS ALMOST FLATLINED. TV makes you dumb, flatlines your brain and turns you into a vidiot. Sometimes I need a break and want my brain flatlined, in that case it’s perfect.
3. I like money too.
4. I love watching NFL Football. I love watching the New York Jets. I used to think I was weird because I couldn’t relive plays or scores like everybody else could. Now I know it’s because I don’t really care. I love watching people play football, the next morning I couldn’t tell you what happened. I move on as soon as the game is over.
5. Stop drinking Guiness, drink Golden Monkey. It’s a Belgian White from Victory Brewing Company who’s actually in PA. That fucking monkey will ride your back all night and shit in your mouth in the morning. Drink it and it won’t matter what anybody says to you, you wont remember.
6. Pica’s Pizza in Upper Darby, PA. It’s a rectangle, upside down pizza and the sausage/pepperoni pizza is amazing.
7. I tell people they are Italian Boat Shoes (which they are). Then they go “oh, there European” and it all makes sense to them.
I really enjoyed this one Adam, nice work.
I just LOVE #7.
Mat
When I get around to buying some VFFs, I’m definitely stealing the “Italian Boat Shoes” line. Brilliant.
1. This post is funny as hell.
2. I have dogs. No need for kids.
3. VFF’s suck ass to rock climb in.
You can hate me for this later, but have you considered becoming a farker on fark.com? I can’t think of a better place to amuse your mind/argue/learn/ develop a new hobby….www.fark.com
& I’m not having kids because I hate them, I’m just gonna be honest…lol
what is a farker?
“farker” is the nickname for people who talk to eachother on http://www.fark.com- the story links have comment strings where registered users converse/share/duke it out/annoy eachother/support eachother.
Jus thought I’d throw it out there, it’s bacon for the idle mind.
I love Fark. I love it.
Well, I already have a few forums who dedicate time to talk about me and my team here daily, I do not know If we need more keyboard warriors spending so much time on us. See talking about me can be a 24/7 hobby, there is always something interesting to say.
Rick
that gets on the topic of these “what is strong” posts through out internet forums. If “fitness” drops down to only picking up heavy shit for singles we lose a lot in our body. Shoving your prowler around for 15 minutes 3 days a week is far superior to what most people are doing.
On this bullet- keep in mind my starting point. Many People say no time for fitness, because i got kids, then they sit on their ass and watch TV all night. Not doing shit, sitting on their ass surfing the web. Not doing shit, reading a novel or magazine. Thats not quality time, and thats no reason why they allow their body to fall apart.
Adam-
I guess because I don’t make money training people, I just ignore the whole, “I would exercise but I just dont have time” excuse. When someone tells me that, I just smile and say, “I understand…” and leave it at that. Why do I care if Joe Blow down the street let’s himself go to shit??? Not my problem, I will just keep doing my thing.
I like a challenge. Life can be tough and stressful and full of ups and downs and in-side-outs. Having the luxury to go to my garage and throw weight around, or push, pull, or carry heavy objects until my legs buckle and my lungs burn, is my thing.
For some; reading, music, computers, juggling, Xbox, muscle cars, fishing, hunting, etc. is THEIR thing.
Far be it for me to tell them that is the wrong way to spend their time. What ever works, and we all know the examples are out there. My mother in law smokes 2 packs a day and has for ever. She is in her 60s, has great blood work and great blood pressure. I work out 7 days a week and I have to keep an eye on my blood pressure…go figure! Just because we chose training as our outlet, doesn’t mean we are healthier then the next guy. Genetics play such a huge roll.
However, I would rather hear the truth then an excuse. A guy who works for me says, “Lifting if your thing, I like Xbox and think lifting is gay….”. That gets respect from me. He is straight up, and not making a lame excuse.
Keep plugging along-
-Rick