I Am Stuck, But I Am Getting Better Everyday

Without getting in to any specifics or classified information, there was a place I was at. There was a serious incident. I was injured.

Associated things which have come with this: I have headaches every single day. It has been this way now for several years. Every evening I can expect tension to spread across my skull from the point of impact, down my neck and across my forehead. Most mornings it aches and is excessively tense until I move around.  I have worked with so many interventions- biomech, biochem, hands on work, on and on always looking for something new on this. Still pain day to day. Some things have helped, but as of now it is consistent.

That is not why I am stuck, but it serves as a reminder which certainly plays a role.

I am stuck because I do not have any faith in other people. In my mind, I know they will fail me. Hand off responsibility to someone else, and when shit goes down they will turn tail and run. I believe most people are cowards and should not be depended on. The world has become separated between the lions and the sheep, and the greatest majority are sheep.

Well, I am stuck in a lot of places. Rather than look at all of the flaws I will start here.

The reason this is important for me to understand is because it is negative, and every action we take affects us: every action, including the things we think and feel. So obviously the above statement is not serving me any favors.

A standing principle we use in the bio-pyscholgy model is every piece of new information should produce new action. So with each new piece of information you learn you are going to modify your behavior and/or thoughts. Everything can be associated to something else. In this case I have developed some defeating associations.

Everyday I get to weigh the options. Wake up, open eyes, make a choice.

Option A: Say fuck it all. Close down shop, move to Africa and shoot pirates in Somalia. Or maybe move to Columbia and become a minor Cocaine baron. How about one of those crab fisherman? I think I would be a kick ass crab fisherman. Cold does not bug me that much and I do like crab legs…

Option B: Say fuck it all. Keep doing this shit. Keep getting better. Find a new way to resolve my stress. Attempt (with minor to major levels of success) to stop examining situations from a cracked lens. Continue to strive to find ways to not blame the person and instead place the blame on the conditioning. Find a way to resolve my state with the current situations and work to shape the future. There are good days and there are not so good days. It is not about fixating on single events.  I am examining the broad average these days.

Option C: Say Fuck it All. Stay in bed until noon, eat a steak, throw some weights around. Eat another steak, drink a beer, smoke a cigarette. Call up my friends; see what they are doing. Find my way back to bed. Not exactly optimal, but typically makes for an enjoyable day. Find the minimal effective amount of distress training in one of the three areas, challenge myself to do something new.

Option D: Say Fuck it all, combine “B” and “C” to all sorts of variations.

I tend to roll with option “B” most of the time. Maybe 85%.

Some times I lean on “C” which is certainly not very productive, but those days always are followed by high out put. Once I sit around and do nothing I get the sense to get moving again. Maybe this ends up being Eu-Stress.  Maybe it is distress? As long as this does not become the norm as I fully attempt my integration of the civilian life I am good to go.

What does this all look like?

Well it’s kind of a way for me to do my own therapy I guess. It is our belief people can be their own coach when they are educated correctly, their own dietitian when properly educated and finally their own therapist once they understand the desired end state of the process. In a world where so many are trying to get you to need them, we wish to make you independent first. Once you can manage yourself, you are in the best possible position to choose who you want to be around and who you don’t.

So what is the starting point? Know when you are in the hole and stop digging,

When you are standing in a pile of shit you have to do something. You can pretend you’re not (choosing to do nothing is still making a choice). You can cry about it, maybe blame the thing which put the shit there. You can wish it didn’t happen, maybe ask some magic god or spirit to make it all better. You can talk about how it is not supposed to be that way, and if you look around certainly someone else will join you in the shit simply to talk about it.

Or…You can move away from the shit and not stand in it anymore. This will require some action. It will not be passive.

So this is my first lesson for you in the extensive realm of bio-psych: The science of learning to fix your shit. We believe state is vastly more important compared to skills- learn to manage your state and your skills will get better faster.

So for those of you who are brave, where are you stuck? What are you doing to resolve it?

If you don’t think your stuck, you’re really stuck and maybe you will sort it out one day.

Adam T Glass- Idiot Savant Strongman, and if it all goes wrong the soon to be worlds strongest crab fisherman…

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