Equipment? We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Equipment! Or Do We? Part I

Entering the building from left to right, you will see:

7 Barbells, 2 axles, 50+ kettlebells, 1 strongman log, 2 clubs, 1 mace, 1 clubbell, 10 dumbbells, 3,700+pounds worth of plates, 18 grippers, 9 block weights, 3 york blobs, and no less than 53 individual pieces of grip equipment ranging from TTKs to 3 finger lifting set ups, to 5 devices for pinch curling, two racks, dip station, anvil, sandbags, swipers, jump stretch bands, chest expander bands, 200 pounds of steel stock, a case of horseshoes, 40 decks of cards on hand, a never ending supple of phone books….the list goes on and on

Some people would say I have “a problem” when it comes to equipment. Specifically my collection of equipment. More specifically the quantity of equipment I own…

I admit it, I hoard fitness equipment like a 14 year old teen stocks comic books and porno magazines. I have in total roughly 22 thousand dollars in equipment, and most of it I owned BEFORE I opened Unbreakable Fitness. I have not found a support group for this problem, so if you know one please forward me their URL.

Naturally people ask me “How much of this do you use?”

“All of it”

“All of it?”

“Well, not at once. But yes all of it”

“Is that really necessary?”

What a wonderful question!

Equipment needs

I would like to write about the popular topic of equipment. What does one need? What comes first? What comes last? Where should you slack with your pocket book and where do spend your ducets. I will attempt to answer these questions over the next few articles.

First and foremost: There are men who have built incredible physiques who are super strong (not strong, super strong!) using body weight training and no equipment. I must acknowledge this before I yelp on equipment. Obviously I will not be one of these guys. I have wrote about my thoughts on body weight training, why it’s good, and why it’s no good for me (besides the obvious problem of owning all this shit) and you can read about it here.

Like everything else we do here at The Movement- it all starts with your goals. If you dream of being built like a brick shit house who bench presses 500lbs- you will need a bench, a barbell and plates. If you want to be a bad ass kettlebell lifter–you need some KBs. Specifics ladies and gentlemen (Do any ladies read this blog?) If you just want to lose your gut and put on some mass, this set up will get you there.

So here is my plan for you: starting with all you cheap motherfuckers who write me and bitch about not having any money. Here is my recommendation for a home gym set up for under $500 dollars.

#1 Before you buy a single piece of equipment you need to figure out where all the shit will go

Basement? Ok, is the ceiling high enough to lift in? Spare bed room? Do you have room for the bar? Are you comfortable lifting in the house? Garage (getting better) do you have space and is it climate friendly? Know where you are going to put the stuff first. A tape measure, pencil, and piece of paper is your friend on this mission. You may have to get creative with this project, but i assure you using that brain is a good thing.

#2 Go buy a stall mat, 5/8″ or 3/4″ thick

These are typically 4′X6′ which is big enough to load a barbell over 500 and have all plates touching rubber. These things are vital. I got mine from a tractor Supply they run about 39-43 dollars a piece. Repairing cracked cement or fucked up hardwood floors costs way more than 50 bucks, so I see this as a win. I have dropped 580lbs on them, no damage. Juggling with the 56kg and it slipped- mat survived…KB was not damaged. We had a few weeks when I was out of town TDY and the clients decided to beat the floors with sledge hammers- mats survived. GET A STALL MAT. It will save you a lot of trouble.

#3 Get a weight set as in an Olympic barbell and 300lbs of weight

Most sporting good stores have these for $140-$180, craigslist has a variety of options in most cities. Now that I told you what you already know–here is how I got almost all of my plates for dirt cheap.

You know people. People who one day woke up and decided “Today is the day I quit screwing around, Today I will get fit!” and they went to the sporting good stores and craigslist and they bought weights. They also bought a bench, with the piece of shit leg extension attachement and if they were really suckered in they got the Lat tower attachement. Before we judge harshly I must remind you this was most likely you at some time as well…

Unfortunately that day passed, and now they have a bunch of plates and a bench sitting collecting dust in their garage or basement. These plates have not been used in some time, maybe years. Their wife bitches at them every spring while cleaning, and without a doubt they claim they are going to get started back at it next week. The problem with starting next week during spring cleaning is baseball season starts than too, fishing gets really good, and all of sudden the open road feels really nice on that Harley.

So this is how I get my new plates. I call good ol’ Tom or Steve, and I offer to get the plates out of the basement or gargage so their wife will chill the hell out. I am nice guy so I offer them 10 cents per pound, which is a good deal for an object that you currently do not use or value. They will usually protest at first and remind me of what they paid for the plates, and then I remind them how much I paid for my first NES which has much dust stored in it.

At this point they will ask if they can drop in and use them. Of course you can Steve. Always say “Yes” because there is no way in hell they will make good on that one. If that shit sat in your basement for a year unused- there is no way you are dragging your ass to my building to lift it. Shit man, that would require effort on your part.

As a side note, these guys will also have a treadmill and a bowflex they want to pitch in. Pass on those ones. A used treadmill will break as soon as it is moved, and a bowflex is…well it’s goofy equipment. I do not know how many strong bodies have been built with a bowflex, but I know the men and women in the commercial did not get those bodies with a bowflex. Moving on

Now you are good to go. Weight set? check. Bench?  Check. Useless leg extension attachement? Check.

So far we have spent under 100 dollars.

#4 You need a kettlebell

Trust me, you do. They rock. Of all the shit I own, kettlebells get the most use. They always will. Lots of brands on the market, everyone says their brand is best. I own 7 different brands of kettlebells, and the only ones I know you must stay away from are these piece of shit ones called “Apollos” or something like that. They are crap. There are cast iron bells and there are competition bells. Most of you will prefer the cast iron bells.

You need a 16kg bell and a 24kg bell. That is all for now.

#5 Pull Up and Dip Station

Option A is pay for something off Amazon, option B is have a welder fabricate it for you. Here are pictures of my dip station and pull up station. You can have these built for under 200 dollars. What ever you do- DO NOT get the ones from Ironmind. I like a lot of Ironmind’s gear, but the pull up station is garbage, and the dip set up is grossly over priced.

You have some change left over- so go buy chalk.

There we are- home gym for under 500 bones. Counting the space of the pull up stand and dip station this area would take up 4′X9′ which puts it in any room in your house or garage.

Now that your home gym is set up, here are some things I recommend to get the most out of it.

• Do not put a TV in the same room if possible. The exception is if you are using a bike or treadmill or whatever and you want to watch TV. Weight lifting and TV do not go nicely IMO
• Do not have a phone in the room. Phones and weight lifting do not work well
• Do not allow pets or kids in your weight room during use. Last thing you need right now is your toddler or dog getting hurt. The exception is a cat, because no one cares about dumbass cats
• Do have water in the room. Once your workout starts you do not want to be running out of the room having to grab things
• Position your equipment in a way in which sunlight from the window is not in your face during lifts. I heard a story about a lifter who was so annoyed with sun light in his garage that he spray painted the windows to keep light from bugging him during his reps. That is what i am talking about.
• Put a clock on the wall. Right where you can see
• Have your training log in the room, and write stuff down as you do it. See this article for recommendations on tracking data
• Final recommendation for now: If you need a spotter- you’re doing it wrong. Home gym means you have to give up a small degree of safety in most cases. Because you are most likely all by yourself in your fortress of solitude you have be smart. Nothing wrong with bench pressing and squatting at home, maybe not a good idea to do so without a rack or safety stand. If you must do something which requires help, get help first, not like this guy

That is a most epic fail. Due note the home guy set up he has, most of the standards in place, except of course common sense.

In conclusion-I know Muscle Mag and Flex have led the world to thinking the strongest men in America lift in a gym by the beach in California- but most of the really bad dudes train at home. With this set up you are on your way.  This set up plus a toe touch and you will be off to a strong start.

In part II I will address the more complex issues of having more than 500 to spend and where to go from there…

ATG

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Tagged as: articles, equipment